Why can't I climax anymore?
Why can’t I climax anymore?
“I just have to work sooooo hard to reach orgasm nowadays”, said my patient. My husband thinks it is him and it’s not. “I just don’t know what is wrong with me”. I hear this from my menopausal patients day in and day out. They feel bad, they are worried something is wrong with them, it is causing concern in the relationship.
You can blame menopause.
Difficulty reaching orgasm or inability to orgasm is super common during menopause. During menopause your ovaries pretty much stop making estrogen and by this time they aren’t making much testosterone either. Both the vagina and the clitoris need these hormones to function normally. So, reaching orgasm requires a lot more work, for some women. Some women then decide to forgo that elusive orgasm (or they fake it). “oh, don’t worry about taking care of me” my patient says to her partner. “You can get me next time”.
The problem with this scenario is that for the woman, the sex isn’t always that great when she doesn’t get that pleasure release of orgasm. When a woman reaches orgasm, she gets a flood of dopamine in her brain. Dopamine is that feel good hormone, it is the one that is released if you do heroin or cocaine that keeps you coming back for more. (NO, don’t do heroin or cocaine). After orgasm, your body releases oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, that makes you want to curl up next to your partner. A good orgasm is an important part of good sex. When sex starts to become not so good, sex drive decreases too. In order to want to have sex, it has to be sex worth wanting.
We just don’t learn about this stuff!!
Did anyone tell you this was going to happen during menopause? Heck, no!! Women’s sexual pleasure is a bit hush in our culture. Well, it shouldn’t be. All women should know that there is treatment for difficulty with orgasm due to lack of necessary hormones. Low dose vaginal hormones can be used and these do NOT increase your risk of breast cancer, stroke, heart attack or blood clot. I repeat, no increased risk when used vaginally. Low dose vaginal hormones bring the healthy blood flow back to the vagina. They allow the vagina to make the cells that make moisture and they allow the vagina to be stretchy again, so sex is much less likely to hurt- another menopausal trouble, to be discussed in another blog.
I have to mention that there are a variety of other things that can affect a woman’s ability to orgasm and the list is long. If you are having trouble, see your doctor. No let me change that, see your sexual medicine doctor!
Dr. Becky Lynn is a gynecologist, menopause and sexual health specialist in St. Louis, MO. She is licensed in Missouri, Tennessee and Illinois. Call today to schedule your appointment. (314) 934-0551 or Click here to schedule an appointment.. If you are not located in Missouri, Tennessee or Illinois, Dr. Lynn offers an E Health. Click here to learn more about E Health and meet with Dr. Lynn today!
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